


When You Speak (Every Word a Defiance)

by vagrantBreath



Series: Start the motion [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Galra Keith (Voltron), Memories of rape, background shallance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 11:10:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8203763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: Keith continues to have nightmares after his time with the Galra, trying to recover.
(you're alone)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this series was complete. And then I realized thejujuster was correct and Keith and Shiro did need to talk.

( _furred fingers in his mouth, gagging him_ )

( _Galra cock in his mouth, gagging him_ )

(you’ll always remember)

(why bother?)

Keith gasped, looking around. Alone... Pidge hadn’t come into his room unannounced, like she was wont to do. Slowly, he sat up, feeling pillow squish under his claws. Damn. He had ripped up another. They didn’t have that many left. One thing he never thought they’d have to do a supply run on. Pillows.

(because of you)

One knee bent, his arm resting across it as he stared at the door. It wasn’t like-

(like what)

(you’re still a mess)

He was. But-

”Shut up,” he whispered, clenching a fist. “I’m fine.”

(no you’re not)

”I’m fine.”

(you had the right idea before)

He swallowed, feeling phantom pressure against his throat. Phantom pain pricking into him. Phantom blood, trickling down, how easily he could have ripped-

”Shut up,” he growled. Snarling, he climbed to his feet, pacing by the mass of blankets and shredding pillow on the floor. “Shut up, shut up, shut-”

(slut)

His hand was slamming against the wall before he realized it was moving. Before Pidge could scramble out of bed and investigate, Keith opened his door and stomped down the hall, hands clenched and growling under his breath.

That was one thing he couldn’t keep his brain from thinking. The fact he had been fucked by so many... so _many._ He had been a slut for Galra cock, taking it- by the end, he had stopped thinking.

Keith ran a hand through his hair, wincing as he felt his claws pull on knots in his hair. Fuck that hurt. But... the pain was real. It was right now. It wasn’t remembered pain.

It was a bad coping mechanism and he knew it.

With a sigh, Keith lowered his hand.

He just... he needed-

(to not be worthless)

”Keith?”

With a small startled jump, he turned at Shiro’s voice. He hadn’t even heard him. “Hey.”

Shiro looked terrible. Eyes red, dark circles... “You look terrible,” he told Keith, as if he wasn’t able to see himself.

He allowed a small smile to cross his face. “So do you.”

That made Shiro laugh a little. “I suppose I do.” He rubbed one eye, yawning. “Probably for the same reason you do.”

Keith looked away.

For a moment, Shiro just looked at him. “I think there’s still some of that chocolate-like powder we got on our last supply run,” he finally said. “If I remember correctly, it made a passable hot chocolate.”

”Shiro-”

”You don’t have to come with me.” Shiro continued to look at him. “But I have a feeling you will, and it’s a long time in coming.”

Keith took a deep breath.

(pathetic)

”Yeah. I guess it is.”

* * *

It... kinda tasted like chocolate. But it was warm and sweet. Keith took another sip, staring down into his cup.

Shiro set down his cup as well, human hand curled around the warmth. “It’s hard having the memories,” he finally said.

”Mm.”

”The Champion was treated pretty well,” Shiro continued. “For... what it was worth. For having to... kill.” He swallowed, hard. “For having to fight and kill for their pleasure.”

”Mm.”

”Takashi Shirogane, the captive... was probably treated just a little better than you were.”

Keith’s eyes turned up, looking at him.

Shiro’s index finger was tapping against the cup, almost shaking as he did so. “It... I had never been physically... tortured. All my scars come the arena.” Slowly, he put down his cup, running fingers over his Galra arm. “Even this was... not intended to be torture.”

”Mm.”

Shiro looked at him. “The Galra are not easy on their playthings,” he finally said. “Be they human or... like you.”

( _half-breed slut_ )

”What are you getting at?” Keith finally snapped, his voice raw.

”I was raped until that day I was sent into the arena by bored Galra.”

Keith’s hands tightened on his cup. It wasn’t surprising.

”The dreams of that, of being in that arena, of being...” He lifted his Galra hand. “It doesn’t matter if I’m in bed with Lance and Allura. I still wake up, thinking I’m back there.” He lowered his hand, pain crossing his face. “I’ve hurt Lance,” he told him quietly. “Waking up. He’s tried to calm me down and I’m still there. Still on that Galra ship, still... and I lash out at him. Allura’s had to stop me.”

Keith looked back down at his cup.

”It’s not...” Shiro broke off, inhaling. “It’s hard,” he finally said. “Lance and Allura don’t understand.”

”Yeah,” Keith whispered. “I get that.”

”But they try.”

Keith tilted his gaze back up at Shiro.

”It helps. That they try. That they want to try. That I have-” Shiro broke off, shaking his head. “It helps me keep from trying to kill myself.”

”You said you wanted to die before,” he said softly.

Shiro laughed, no humor in the sound. “Sometimes I do. On the days the three of us try to have sex and even the precautions we put into place to try to keep from triggering me don’t work, I want to die. Because Allura and Lance would be able to have a healthy sex life without me. On the nights I wake Allura out of a dead sleep and hurt Lance, I want to die. Because they wouldn’t be hurt.” He looked down at his Galra hand, flexing it. “And then they’re there,” he said softly. “Being wonderful and I don’t understand.”

”Why anyone would put up with you,” Keith added on, remembering a short Paladin coming into a feral Keith’s room and curling up on his floor. Sitting down next to him and chatting with him. Being there when he tried to kill himself.

Shiro nodded, finally taking another sip, making a face as he realized it was cold. “That stuff does not taste good cold,” he told him. He put the cup down, staring at it. “We all have someone we need to go to,” he finally said. “Lance goes to Hunk to talk. Hunk and Pidge talk. Allura and Coran. You...”

Keith nodded. “I know,” he told him. “I- It’s just hard, Shiro. Talking about all that happened, over and over- talking about what my brain is telling me over and over-”

”If you need someone-”

”Goddamn it, Keith, where the flying fuck-”

Keith’s head turned at Pidge’s voice. He had almost forgotten he had slammed his hand against the wall. It had definitely woken her up. “I think I have someone,” he told Shiro. “Thanks. For... telling me that.”

Shiro smiled, nodding. “You’re welcome. And thank you for listening.”

Keith’s lips tightened in something resembling a smile briefly before leaving to meet Pidge. “Hey. Sorry I woke you.”

”Try ‘sorry Pidge, you woke me up and then _ran away,_ ’” she groused, rubbing her eyes. “I had no idea where you went. You doing okay?”

(She’s someone to talk to.)

(Even Shiro needs that.)

”I think I need someone to talk to.”

”Well, get your pillow and blanket and come by my room.” Pidge yawned. “I’ll get my shit on the floor for you.”

”Hey. Do you have an extra pillow?”

”You did not claw up another pillow. Did you really claw up another pillow?”

”Um. Yes.”

Pidge just looked at him. “The supply closet is this way,” she grumbled, finally turning and leading the way. “Get a pillow and meet me in my room. We need to get an unshredable pillow or something. Something you can claw and not destroy.” 

He laughed a little. “That would be nice.”

”Yeah.” She went quiet as they reached the supply closet, then looked up at him. “You got it from here?”

”Yeah. I’ll meet you in your room.”

”Cool. And hey.” She smiled up at him. “You ever need to talk again, even in the dead of night, just come knocking at my door. Seventy percent chance I’m awake.”

”What’s the other thirty?”

”Twenty I’m passed out at my desk, ten I’m passed out in my Lion.”

Keith laughed. “I can see why Shiro gets on you about actually sleeping.”

”Don’t you start too. I don’t need another dad-like teammate.”

That made Keith shudder. “I think you’re safe from that.” He paused, then reached his hand out, palm upright.

Pidge smiled, taking his hand carefully. When it was starting to make his skin crawl, starting to make him uneasy with that much touching of another human being, she let go. “See you in a bit,” she told him, turning away.

Keith smiled at that, turning back to the closet, opening it to retrieve a pillow.

It still weighed on him but-

(Someone to talk to.)

(It makes it better.)

He knew he wasn’t alone.

**Author's Note:**

> When you speak I hear silence   
>  Every word a defiance   
>  I can hear, oh, I can hear   
>    
>  Think I'll go where it suits me   
>  Moving out to the country   
>  With everyone, oh, everyone   
>  Before we all become one   
>    
>  You tell yourself that you're lucky   
>  Lying down never struck me   
>  As something fun, oh, any fun   
>    
>  Stabbing pain for the feeling   
>  Now your wound's never healing   
>  'Til you're numb, oh, it's begun   
>  Before we all become one   
>    
>  Oh we all, we all become one   
>  Oh we all, we all become one   
>  Oh we all, we all become one   
>  Oh we all, we all become one   
>  Stop grieving, start leaving   
>  Before we all become one   
>    
>  Run   
>    
>  Oh we all, we all become
> 
> We All Become, Darren Korb feat. Ashley Barrett [X](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9O2Rjn1azc)
> 
> And thank you all for reading yet one more installment in what should have been a complete series! Hopefully now it will be complete.


End file.
